The reason why I decided to write this today is because while travelling in a Metro, I overheard two ladies talking about their relationships and possessiveness that they feel for their partners. Well, the two ladies got down on their station, leaving me in my thoughts. Something that often is asked and will always be asked is “who is more possessive in a relationship-a man or a woman?” And what basically defines the concept of “possessiveness?”
To begin with, possessiveness is a feeling when you, at heart, feel that your partner “belongs” to you! But the question is who is more possessive in a relationship- men or women? At heart, every woman has a craving to win over a man who “belongs”…truly belongs to her with all his heart. And the fact remains that a woman will do literally anything to keep the love of her life “safe” only with her.
I tried talking about possessiveness to one of my male friends. I described him about a woman who was possessive about a man. The fact was that they were about to marry soon and she knew at heart that he really belonged to her. But why then, there was a sense of fear at her heart? Why there existed a feeling of “losing” him, despite the fact that they were marrying each other? So, this friend of mine explained me, “Look Akanksha, every human being is possessive. You name a person who loves someone and is not possessive. It’s just the degree of possessiveness that varies. Some might show it and others do not! So, you understand now?”
Well, to be honest, I didn’t! I saw a friend of mine in a relationship with a man for more than 5 years now, but still cribbing over the fact that he just “liked” the picture of a girl on Facebook! I understood the feeling and still didn’t.
Yet another friend of mine came out of two sour relationships bravely in her past. Now, she is about to marry someone who knows her entire past and is still ready to love her with all his heart. One reason why she felt possessive for him was because she feared losing him too like the two other men!
I, honestly, didn’t come across a man who was possessive for any female friend of mine, like they were. But do women prefer possessive men? And is possessiveness good for a relationship? Well, to answer the first question, a woman will definitely love and prefer a man who makes her feel that she entirely, really “belongs” to her and that he will love none other than her in his entire life! So, she will definitely love a possessive man, but not the one who chokes her under the burden of possessiveness.
Men, on the other hand, too will love the fact that a woman will fight with the world to “belong” to him truly. But personally, I feel that unlike a woman, a man will feel suffocated, trapped and non-independent in a relationship if a woman is possessive. Sad, but ladies, we need to understand that trusting our partner is important and a little sense of possessiveness will work. Over-possessiveness will definitely choke a man in a relationship!